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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m stuck there, drenched, eating my nasi goreng. But honestly? It’s kinda nice. The rain’s cooling me off, and the food’s so good, I forget about the wetness.

Light mag. 3.9 earthquake - Java, Indonesia, on Thursday, Apr 10, 2025, at 10:16 pm (Jakarta time)